Coast Toasties - I survived My First Speech

I joined a Toastmasters group in February - actually the group is just forming and isn't a "real" Toastmasters group yet.  We need 20 members before we can become official.  The group meets once a week and the goal is to learn to be comfortable speaking in public.  

 

I am not at all comfortable speaking in public - and was so grateful that I didn't do something awful in front of the group - pass out, wet my pants, vomit - something that would have completely humiliated me. 

 

They could tell I was horribly nervous - but they still enjoyed the speech - or would have if I'd spoken slower so they could have understood it!!   I just wanted to get it over as soon as possible!

 

I think I could learn to enjoy public speaking - in about a million years - with lots of practice.  ; )

 

Here's what I said - it's about half of the story (which is posted here - sometime in the past).  This was from a letter I wrote to my sister after we made it home from the wedding.  Our speeches have to fit in 5 to 7 minutes - so I couldn't tell the entire story.

 

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I'm the oldest of six kids.  Four boys and two girls.  In 1993 one of my brothers was married in Denver, Colorado.  I flew to Denver with my parents and two of my brothers, David and Greg, to be at Randall's wedding.  We enjoyed the wedding and then my brothers and I flew home – leaving our parents in Denver for a longer visit with other relatives.

 

We flew home by way of three planes:

      1) Denver to Salt Lake City with 1 hour 40 minutes layover at SLC

      2) Salt Lake City to Portland with 30 minutes layover at Portland

      3) Portland to Eugene

 

     The first flight went without a hitch      Then we boarded plane #2.  

 

And sat there and sat there and sat there.

 

Finally  people in coveralls went into the cockpit.  OK so you're sitting in a plane which doesn't take off – and people in coveralls go into the cockpit.  Would this make you feel secure about your flight?

 

Eventually the captain makes an announcement telling us that they had a faulty light which had to be checked. More time passes.

 

Again the captain makes an announcement – this time telling us that they had a short in a battery and had to power down the plane to change it. They did, then they had to reprogram the navigation. Forty minutes late, we took off.

 

Did you notice that we only had 30 minutes between planes 2 & 3?

 

Then the captain told us that he was going to fly as fast as he could to make up some of the lost time. And he did manage to make up about 15 minutes.

 

Because I tend to be a Nervous Nelly, I kept looking at my watch. Finally, I couldn't stand it anymore and signaled for a flight attendant - explaining to her about our connecting flight. She took our flight information and then walked down the aisle to find out if anyone else had a connecting flight to Eugene. About eight of us did. The rest of the passengers were destined for Portland.

 

I have very little experience traveling – and even less experience in plane travel.  But, we'd just taken three planes to Denver before the wedding.  And what I learned was that as soon as the plane lands and all the lights go off – everyone jumps up – jams the aisles – desperately grabbing their carryon luggage – and no one can move until the people up front of you get off the plane.

 

We landed at Portland and they asked everyone to please remain seated, so that they could get us off the plane and then they ran us across the airport (of course, our connecting flight was on the other side of the airport - did you think it would be next door?). We made the connecting flight – no problem. 

 

Then we sat there and sat there and sat there.   Not that this made me nervous or anything.

 

Later we figured out that the delay was so they could load our luggage.  Well, 3 of our 4 suitcases made it onto the plane.

 

My orange suitcase wasn't on the conveyor when we arrived at Eugene. So, I headed across the airport to make a lost luggage claim.

 

Then we loaded our Mom's car and headed home. On Beltline (the busiest road through Eugene) the car sputtered and died.  The gas gauge said we still had ¼ tank – but it was wrong. 

 

We got out of the car and the guys opened the hood.  Dave told Greg to try to start the car. Sputter, sputter, choke and die. So, we decided to lock up and walk for help. Doors slam, and lock, and I ask my brother to get my purse out of the trunk of the car – my money was in it and I figured we'd probably need some.

 

He patted his pockets, looked in the car, and guess what?! He locked the keys in the car! Can anything else possibly go wrong?

 

Dave decided to walk to a pay phone to call one of his wife's sons for help (they lived in Springfield).He couldn't remember their number, but would look it up at the phone booth. No phone book in the first booth he comes to – no book in the second booth – no book in the third booth.  He finally goes into a store and borrows a phonebook to look up the number.

 

He called and left a message with the son's girlfriend. The guys were out but she'd have them come help us when they got back. Dave walked back to where Greg and I were waiting with the car. (about 1 hour and 45 minutes have gone by). We stand around the car laughing and talking. Dave says that he thought about calling the police - they could open the doors for us with a slim jim and would give us a gallon of gas - but he couldn't find their number in the phone book. And he knew they wouldn't like it if he called 911 "could you bring us a slim jim and some gas."

 

So, we decided that I could always have a heart attack, then we could call 911 "my sister's having a heart attack. Could you please send an ambulance, a slim jim and some gas."

 

Did I mention that Greg didn't put on the parking brake and that the car was in neutral when it was locked up? It seemed that we were going to have a long wait so Greg and Dave jumped up on the hood of the car. I started to lean back on the hood and the car rolled down the street. Just what we need: "Oh, Mom, Jamie wrecked your car on Beltline. She pushed it into traffic when we ran out of gas."

 

Fortunately the road was straight and the car stayed on the shoulder until we could get it to stop. We decided it was another good excuse to call 911: "My brother was run over when he tried to stop the car. Please send an ambulance, a slim jim, and a can of gas."

 

All this silliness helped pass the time until the guys arrived with a coat hanger. It only took 23 minutes to get the door open, pour in the gas and start the car.  Over three hours after leaving the airport we were back on the road heading home.

 

That night a woman called from the airline and asked if I needed my suitcase right away. I told her "No." So she said that she'd have it sent out the next day. I figured UPS.

 

Early the next morning, the phone rang. It was a man calling from the airline wanting directions to our house. I said "you're going to have someone drive from Eugene to Reedsport?"

 

"Yes" So, I tried to give him directions but realized it was hopeless when he asked "Where's Reedsport?" I ended up having them send it UPS.

 

I figured they'd slap a label on my suitcase, and when our UPS guy came walking down the steps with my orange suitcase in his hand, I planned to say "Is this just a visit, or are you moving in?"     

 

Wouldn't you know, they put my suitcase in a box. Completely ruined my joke.